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20 God well with the midwives. The people multiplied and became very strong. 21 And because the midwives feared God, he gave them houses.

will become very strong, but it seems to me that the whips in the hands of the Egyptians have still ...
Finally, however, find god, that makes no exceptions: to give a long line is your answer for everything!


22 Then Pharaoh commanded all his people: "Every child that is born to the Hebrews, threw him into the Nile, but let every daughter live."

there was a curious phenomenon: only women were born. The Egyptians did not suspect anything even when the Jews began to half their daughters circumcised, which above all had a voice and a strangely serious unusually bushy beard. Moreover, many Egyptians captors, abusing the Jewish slaves, not to be reported were very pleased with the experience.

1 A man of the family of Levi went and married a daughter of Levi. 2 The woman conceived and bore a son, saw that it was beautiful, she hid him for three months.

seems almost as if your name is Levi automatically end up in a prison camp! Always charge of women in the family however, some habits never change.
However, in reality, the man of the house of Levi was an impostor. He said his name was Levi Strauss, but in reality his name was Marty McFly and since 1985, but he took a curve too wide and ended in Egypt.

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The pope announced his next trip to Cameroon and Angola.
The pressure exerted by a single post my proved unsustainable for the pontiff, who sold without conditions.

Meanwhile, the Pope called for an end to violence against Christians in the world, in short asking that Christians do not end with their former victims as pagan Nordic pre-Columbian etc etc.
But in the end we support the Vatican's line of thought: more than anything because, poor things, no other threads that you smear this appeal. Because its recipients, see Hindu and locals will have a very predictable reaction:
"Did you hear the Pope told us to stop persecuting Christians!"
A) "The Pope? In person? Damn, I am Hindu, but as he puts it deep down we are all Catholics, even if not We know, then his word is law! "
B)" The pope said that? And what do I give a damn, I'm Hindu! The man eats beef throughout the year, and comes to preach to us? "
C)" What is the pope? "


statistical office of the Messiah, he immediately asked the question at all respondents (the entire Hindu population, one billion billion plus minus), and 99.89999% of cases the answer was C. But a small margin of error is due to rounding down. The answer to amount to 0 , 00001%, with a margin of error of about 0.00001%, and corresponds to the opinion of a cardinal who had taken the plane wrong and was in Mumbai. Answer B was better, with a preference of 0.1%, mostly from an area of \u200b\u200bhigh society in New Delhi.

course great emphasis has been spent for Chinese Catholics. The situation in China is difficult, the Government does not accept the presence of a cross-power, which the church of Rome, which undermine the authorities. As if to say, there will shoot a handful of people per day and human rights do not exist, but the main problem is that the Catholic religion is controlled by the state. Talk about priorities .....

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11 Therefore they did set them taskmasters ai lavori forzati per opprimerli con i loro gravami, e così costruirono per il faraone le città-deposito, cioè Pitom e Ramses. 12 Ma quanto più opprimevano il popolo, tanto più si moltiplicava e cresceva oltre misura; si cominciò a sentire come un incubo la presenza dei figli d'Israele.

E ci credo, quando ti tolgono tutto l'unica cosa che ti rimane da fare per svagarti dopo una giornata di lavoro è sbatterti la moglie! Grazie tante che si moltiplicano!


13 Per questo gli Egiziani fecero lavorare i figli d'Israele trattandoli duramente. 14 Resero loro amara life by forcing them to manufacture clay bricks and all sorts of work in the fields and all these jobs forced them harshly.

I read the Bible ... I know, the slaves of Abraham. Would you say more or less the same thing, plus "But God was on the side of slavery, and slaves to work them life without wires to smear anybody,"


15 And the king of Egypt said to Hebrew midwives, one of which was called Sifra and the other Puah: 16 "When Jewish women at the delivery, when the baby is still observed between the two sides of the seat for the delivery: whether it's a boy , the you will die if it is a female, can live. "

In this way you could make a perfect complement to the Chinese people!
O in a general population of women! I could say a string of sexist jokes like, "think of what would now be on the streets of Tel Aviv, but the cult does not promote misogyny. So you create your sexist jokes and conferred on me.


17 But the midwives feared God did not do as the king of Egypt commanded them, and let the children live. 18 The king of Egypt called the midwives and said to them: "Why have you done this and have saved the men children alive?". 19 The midwives said to Pharaoh, "The Hebrew women are not like the Egyptian are full of vitality before it arrives at the midwife of them have already given birth."

"But I take the piss? Women who spit out children like corks of champagne?"
'It is true we lied. But we feared that such a god, that does not manifest itself for centuries! "

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1 These are the names of the sons of Israel came into Egypt with Jacob, and everyone arrived with his family: 2 Reuben, Simeon, Levi, and Judah, 3 Issacar, Zàbulon e Beniamino, 4 Dan e Nèftali, Gad e Aser. 5 Tutte le persone nate da Giacobbe erano settanta, Giuseppe si trovava già in Egitto.
6 Giuseppe poi morì e così tutti i suoi fratelli e tutta quella generazione.

L'esodo mi piace di già! Minaccia una sequela di "generò" come nelle peggiori tradizioni della genesi..... ma poi chiude tutto con uno sbrigativo "vabbè, comunque tanto son tutti morti!"


7 I figli d'Israele prolificarono e crebbero, divennero numerosi e molto potenti e il paese was filled.
8 Now there arose a new king who knew not Joseph.

idiots we elect and we the kings! In Egypt rose! It works much better, much less mess for the elections! Besides, why not plant our rulers to hope that they rise again? So ours are already full of fertilizer to the neck, there would surely something from them!


9 And he said unto his people: "Behold, the people of the children of Israel are more numerous and stronger than us.

multiplied League Egypt rallies against the Jewish immigrants who they say pretended along the Nile, the cry of "yes" to the cous cous, no kosher food "


10 take action against him to prevent increases, otherwise, in the event of war, will join our enemies, and fight against us and then leave the country. "

"God is not flying a bit 'with the imagination?"
"No, you dare contradict me? Now I contradict myself, tomorrow I'll steal the cart, then rapirai my wife, and will set fire to my house, poison me and forged my will! Then steal the copyright on the book I'm writing, Minority Report. "

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21 So do not worry, I will provide provide for you and your children. " So he comforted them and their courage. 22 Now Joseph and his father's family lived in Egypt, Joseph lived one hundred and ten years.

Ah yes, always the old story of centenarians in an era where if you arrive in 60 years had already had a very long life!
Decades of food paid to the brothers, among others, who probably should essersela fun for the whole life, so there was the little brother who provided!


23 And Joseph saw Ephraim's children unto the third generation and also the children of Machir, son of Manasseh, were born on Joseph's knees.

The cost should be a capital pocket money in Christmas!


24 And Joseph said unto his brethren: "I'm going to die, but God will surely visit you and you will leave this land to the land he promised on oath to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob" .

"Promised Land?" You mean that there will be a place where we'll be better than here? But here we had it all during his lifetime and did not lift a finger! What could be better? "
"Well, a flight into the wilderness for years, many wars, massacres and other war ... God does not hear is that we can stay here? It's so good ... "


25 Joseph took an oath to the children of Israel thus:" God will surely visit you and then you shall carry up my bones from here. "
26 And Joseph died at the age of one hundred and ten years, it was embalmed and placed in a coffin in Egypt.

That scam, Joseph wants his bones are gone, but they stuffed full so technically the first section as the descendants will have a calf!



And with that, the genesis is completed.
the next episode:

The Lord said to Moses, "Get balsam: Storace, onyx, galbanum and pure frankincense as balms, all in equal parts. they going to do with a perfume to be burned, an aroma composition according to the art of the perfumer

God abandons the ambition to conquer the world and devoted himself to his passion as a child, fashion and perfume! This and more will "The Exodus" !

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11 The Canaanites who lived in the country, saw the mourning of the Hague Atado and said, "This is a grievous mourning to the Egyptians." For this reason it was called Abel Mizraim, which is beyond Jordan.

was supposed to be nice to live at that time. Nothing had a name, and every time you turned when you said "this place from now on will be called Fantastilandia"


12 Then his sons did for him as he had commanded them. 13 His sons took him to the land of Canaan and buried him in the cave of the field of Machpelah, which Abraham bought that field, such as burial property, from Ephron the Hittite, which is before Mamre.

I have no doubt that it was not easy at the time maps and directions to find a cave somewhere dispersed states


14 After burying his father, Joseph returned to Egypt with his brothers and all who had gone with him to bury his father.
15 But Joseph's brothers became afraid, because their father was dead, and said: "I wonder if Joseph did not treat us as enemies and make us all the evil that we will have we done?" .

But absolutely, that would be the point? After all, the Bible says an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, as may have similar fears unfounded?


16 Then they sent word to Joseph, "Your father before he died he gave this order: 17 will say to Joseph: 17 Forgive the crime of your brothers and their sin, because you have done something wrong! So forgive the transgression of the servants of the God of your father. " Joseph wept when they spoke so

Oh boy if this is really drunk!
"Ah ... and then said you had to buy new clothes"
"Yes .. and a pair of designer shoes to Head
" And women, many women "
" Then Dad said we inherit all the your property and your titles! " Joseph
conform. It was his father's will in the end. At the end when no longer needed was pushed into a pit and sold as slave. But that's another version of the Bible.


18 And his brothers also came and fell down before him and said, "Here we are your slaves." 19 But Joseph said unto them, Fear not. Am I in the place of God?

"Well, no .... you exist and are here before us ... but what?"


20 If you meant evil against me, God meant it for good,

If we think about all that the brothers were bought with the proceeds from the sale of Joseph , I do not doubt that for them everything is served in a good!